We say we want to change things, we set New Year's resolutions in place and we create lists of self-care goals. We make promises to ourselves, and sometimes to other people in our lives.

And, in every moment, we have a choice between what we'll say yes to and what we'll say no to.

1. Say YES to the fear! Doing something new or different might activate some fear in us. This is completely natural. And if we don't go through with it we let the fear win and we don't say YES.

2. Say YES to self-care! Even between two less-than-healthy choices we can always make the one that is more nourishing. This sends a message that you're caring for yourself, that you deserve this care and attention and that you're taking action to improve your self-care habits.

3. Say YES to saying NO! When we have the courage to say "no", whether it's to a request for time, to an offer of a tempting "treat", or to our own negative thinking, we're empowering ourselves and creating evidence that self-care comes first.

4. Say YES to making choices! When we say yes to making a choice it means we're saying no to "auto-pilot" behaviour, such as watching the same television shows every day because that's when they're on, keeping the same routine (whether it works or not), or fretting over finishing the same chores every week.

5. Say YES to common sense! Keep it simple, usually the best solution is right in front of you and isn't complicated. Sometimes we resist this because it seems "too easy" or it goes against what we're used to and brings up a fear of change. Many of us overcomplicate things - the more we think the less we have to do!

How to take this to YOUR self-care plan:

A. Take a look at your self-care goals and your daily practice list and see which actions you haven't taken yet. Now ask yourself honestly whether fear might be one of the things in your way. Journal about this or talk about it with someone you trust. Many times just realizing that I'm afraid gets me "unstuck". As Susan Jeffers says in the title of her best-selling book, we can 'feel the fear and do it anyway'.

B. Pick one day this week to try an experiment. Carry a notepad with you and mark every time you're making a choice. Snap out of "auto-pilot", just for one day, and become conscious of the choices you're making, and the MANY opportunities for self-care in your day.

C. Tune into your common sense. When things are getting crazy in your day, stop for a moment and just ask yourself what the simplest solution would be, and then carry it out. Repeat whenever necessary.

(c) Copyright Linda Dessau, 2005.